So the other day I was trying to clean up my home office for once in my life, and I came to the realization that I have way too many With Leather t-shirts taking up space. Last time I tried to give some away, 5 or 6 people didn’t even bother responding, so I thought that maybe nobody likes my shirts. But then I was thinking that these shirts are indeed awesome, and people should wear them. Unfortunately, I’m not giving them away for free anymore.

Instead, I want to do something good with them. I never purchased them to profit, because that’s no fun. I bought them because I thought they’d be fun giveaways and people might wear them and other people would be like, “With Leather? That sounds like an awesome website for my fetish… aw crap, it’s sports.” Now I want to sell them, though, because my friends just got back from New York City, after they were stuck there for 5 days with no power, water and very little food. Also, I just read a story about the hospital employees that carried babies down 20 stories during Hurricane Sandy and my allergies are acting up like crazy.

For $15 you can get one of the grey With Leather t-shirts that you can clearly see in the banner image. After the jump, the rest of the details.

For $30 you can get the very last “I Read With Leather Occasionally” t-shirt (size large) that this lovely young lady from Rick’s Cabaret is displaying.

And for $50, I will personally design one person (first come, and all that jazz) his or her very own custom WL tee.

So there ya go. Buy a WL t-shirt and Kids in Distressed Situations will receive a check from me for every penny that is sent to me. I have 28 t-shirts left, varying in sizes. Email me at BurnsyWL@gmail.com and let me know what size you want, and I will give you my PayPal email to complete the transaction.

I only have shirts in M, L and XL so please keep that in mind before emailing me. And don’t complain, because this is for a good cause.

Won't someone please think of the Ice Girls?

Not like they really needed it, but we can add yet another reason to support the NHL players as we enter Day 70 of the NHL lockout – they’re good human beings. New York Rangers center Brad Richards and Philadelphia Flyers forward Scott Hartnell got together and decided to partner with Caesar’s Atlantic City to create a charity hockey game known as “Operation Hat Trick”, which won’t feature many of the league’s best players, but it will showcase some guys who want to play a little hockey and raise money for Hurricane Sandy relief. Somewhere, an NHL team owner wiped his ass with a $100 bill and stuck it to an orphan’s cheek.

According to Richards:

“It’ll be a real, 60-minute game,” Richards said. “The focus will probably be more on the offensive side. But we’ll put on a good show for the fans.”

Wouldn’t it be nice if this incredibly generous act led both sides of this lockout to finally sitting down for an entire day and hammering out a 50/50 deal, instead of the owners trying to find any and every way to take as much money from the players as possible? Haha, I know, that was my funniest joke of the year.

The game will be played tomorrow at Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City, and Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist recognizes that while it sucks for players and fans that there probably won’t be a 2012-13 NHL season, that’s a far cry from the pain that people in New York and New Jersey, among other states have been dealing with.

“It’s not only the hockey fans. You want to pay back to people working in the community around New York and people that got hit by this storm,” said Lundqvist, last season’s Vezina Trophy winner as the NHL’s top goalie. “I was not there, but obviously I have a lot of friends who were still there, and I had people move into my place. …

“I hope it’s going to be a positive day, and that people who come in to watch the game get some energy and give the people some hope who need it.” (Via Fox News)

Unfortunately, unless you actually attend the game – and you should if you’re in the area and tickets are available, because we like helping people – you won’t be able to watch it. But if you want to close your eyes and pretend like you’re watching, here are the lineups:

Team New York

Forwards Brad Richards, Rangers; Bobby Ryan, Ducks; Corey Perry, Ducks; Daniel Alfredsson, Senators; James Neal, Penguins; Ville Leino, Sabres; Brian Boyle, Rangers; Taylor Pyatt, Rangers; Jeff Halpern, Rangers; Arron Asham, Rangers; Matt Martin, Islanders.

Defensemen Dan Girardi, Rangers; Marc Staal, Rangers; Steve Eminger, Rangers; Mike Komisarek, Maple Leafs.

Goaltender Henrik Lundqvist, Rangers.

Team New Jersey/Philadelphia

Forwards Scott Hartnell, Flyers; Steven Stamkos, Lightning; David Clarkson, Devils; James van Riemsdyk, Maple Leafs; Simon Gagne, Flyers; Jody Shelley, Flyers; Wayne Simmonds, Flyers; Justin Williams, Kings; Daniel Carcillo, Blackhawks; Steve Downie, Avalanche.

Defensemen Andy Greene, Devils; Kimmo Timonen, Flyers; Braydon Coburn, Flyers; P..K. Subban, Canadiens; John Carlson, Capitals.

Goaltender Martin Brodeur, Devils.

I guess the only remaining question is will Tay Stevens be there? Come on, Tay. The people need you.

In one of the college bars in the college town where I attended college (college!) some charmer over a decade ago drunkenly scribbled “I f–ked your mom last night” above one of the urinals. Shortly after a much wittier gentleman with far better handwriting replied, “Go home dad, you’re drunk.” I was 18 or 19 the first time I saw it and at the time thought it was the pinnacle of humor. I’ve enjoyed a good chuckle every time I used the restroom in said establishment ever since.

I’m not sure if that says more about college me or me me but either way I’ve maintained a fondness for the joke over the years and enjoyed every meme-y variation I’ve seen on the internet since, so when a few new ones began to spring up this week in response to Sandy devastation (quite the awesome coping mechanism, I might add) I enjoyed them a little too much.

So here’s an assorted collection of Sandy and non-Sandy related “Go home, you’re drunk” memes for everyone’s end of week enjoyment. Because we’ve all been a boat on railroad tracks before.

Source: Know Your Meme

You know what Hurricane Katrina was missing? SEX APPEAL. Hurricane Sandy didn’t have the same problem.

As [New York City] reels from a devastating natural disaster that has affected the lives of hundreds of thousands, Brazilian glamour model and Manhattan resident Nana Gouvêa used this as an ill-conceived opportunity to fill out her lookbook.

Gouvêa, who reportedly appeared in Brazilian Playboy, showed a complete lack of sensitivity as she seductively posed by crushed cars, fallen trees and the debris-filed city streets. She proudly posted the series of images taken by her husband Carlos Keyes on her Facebook page, sparking instant outcry. (Via)

Work that crushed 1998 Honda Civic, gurl. According to the New York Post, Gouvêa said that she “loves hurricanes because they give her an opportunity to spend time with her husband.” I mean, we all loved 9/11 because it allowed us to catch up on our Toby Keith albums, too, but that doesn’t mean it was a good thing. Speaking of: shortly after Gouvêa’s photos went viral (you can see more here), a Tumblr blog, Nana Gouvêa em desastres, was set up, picturing the model in other famous tragedies. Here are some of our favorites.

It’s easy to make fun of Christina Aguilera. She wore chaps while singing “Dirrty.” She’s the host of a reality show. She starred in the hilariously terrible Burlesque. She had some ambiguous liquid oozing down her leg while performing “At Last” on CNN. She wore a confusing Halloween costume. She…well, this album cover. But girl’s got impeccable pipes, which she proved during last night’s Hurricane Sandy: Coming Together benefit. (Just a reminder: if you haven’t already, please text “Redcross” to 90999 to make a $10 donation.) The former Xtina sang her 2002 hit “Beautiful,” and despite the cloying lyrics, it was a heartfelt, poignant version, made all the more powerful considering Aguilera was born in Staten Island, which was devastated by the storm.

She’s the best kind of diva: one who uses the Internet’s mockery to inspire and invigorate her, which is why in a belt-off, I’d take Aguilera over Queen Beyonce any day, any night, any time.

Following the lead of networks like NBC and ABC, MTV has decided to produce their own Hurricane Sandy special. The one-hour special will be titled “Restore the Shore,” and will attempt to raise funds for the ravaged New Jersey town of Seaside Heights. If “Seaside Heights” rings a bell for those of you who don’t live in the NY/NJ/PA area, it’s because it was the location for most of the seasons of Jersey Shore. So GUESS WHO IS RUNNING POINT ON THE FUNDRAISING EFFORTS.

The effort will include a live one-hour special featuring the Jersey Shore cast along with other celebrity guests encouraging viewers to aid New Jersey relief efforts. [...]

The “Restore the Shore” special airs live on Thursday, Nov. 15 from MTV’s Times Square Studio. Viewers will be encouraged to donate online or via text message during and after the event. Architecture for Humanity intends to work with the Borough of Seaside Heights to award rebuilding grants to local contractors, similar to its relief efforts in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. [EW]

Now, it would be easy for me to make fun of this. So very, very easy. I could just point and laugh and be all “HAHA HAVEN’T THE VICTIMS OF THE HURRICANE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?,” and then I could click publish and move right along with my day. But I am not going to do that. Not yet at least. People up and down the New Jersey coast are in need of supplies and funds just as much as those in the other areas affected by the storm, if not more, so to whatever extent parading these goons out and pointing a camera at them will help with that, I am all for it. There is still one more season of Jersey Shore left, and talk shows continue to bend over backwards to have members of the cast come on to blabber about their new line of wristbands or smoothies or whatever, so there will be plenty of other opportunities to mock them in the near future. I can wait.

Well here’s an uplifting election season tale that should warm even the coldest heart: With significant portions of his state ravaged by Hurricane Sandy, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has been all over the news of late, usually wearing a “Chris Christie, Governor” fleece, a happening that led to him being impersonated on SNL over the weekend.

And with the presidential election just days away, Christie, a Romney supporter who was rumored to have been considered as Mitt’s running mate, struck up an unlikely bromance with President Obama as the two joined forces to try to help people in need. It was kind of sweet, actually, though Christie’s public praise for Obama earned him predictable scorn from the likes of shout-y sex tourist Rush Limbaugh.

As it turns out, Christie is longtime Bruce Springsteen fan, having attended over 100 Springsteen concerts in his lifetime, and since becoming governor of New Jersey he’s reportedly made attempts to try to befriend the Boss, all of which have gone ignored. Enter Christie’s new BFF, Barry.

Reports the New York Times:

The White House spokesman, Jay Carney, confirmed that President Obama had put Bruce Springsteen on the phone with Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey while the president and the Boss were flying to Columbus from Madison, Wis., on Air Force One.

Mr. Christie, a Republican, is well known as one of the biggest Bruce fans ever, but had not gotten love from Mr. Springsteen, a die-hard Democrat, in the past. Though Mr. Christie has attended more than 100 of his concerts, Mr. Springsteen has not invited him backstage.

Further, the president apparently arranged for the two to meet in person at a benefit concert, a meeting that led the gruff New Jersey governor to break down in tears.

Reports the Washington Post:

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie told reporters Monday that he had an unexpected — and moving — conversation earlier with his hero, Bruce Springsteen.

He also got a hug from the rock legend on Friday, at a benefit concert for victims of Superstorm Sandy. He later cried, calling the moment a highlight in a tough week.

“Bruce and I had an opportunity to chat for a while Friday night… we hugged and he told me, ‘it’s official, we’re friends,” Christie said at a news briefing.

Sadly, Mitt Romney arranging to have Christie meet Meatloaf didn’t have the same effect. Go figure.

Adam Sandler’s contribution to the 12.12.12 concert for Sandy Relief was a hilarious tribute to New Yorkers.

BRUCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

ANYWAY. The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Kanye West, Chris Martin (with Michael Stipe), Roger Waters, and Bon Jovi, among others, all played sets during last night’s 12-12-12: The Concert for Sandy Relief charity gig at Madison Square Garden, but the performance that everyone’s talking about this morning is: Sir Paul McCartney with Nirvana. They debuted a new (decent) song for the occasion, “Cut Me Some Slack,” which will soon appear on Sound City: Real to Reel, the soundtrack to Dave Grohl’s documentary, Sound City. Check it out below, as well as a few other videos from the concert.

Paul McCartney & Nirvana by Embrulha

And a few other performances, beginning with Chris Martin and Michael Stipe.

Roger Waters and Eddie Vedder

Billy Joel

The Rolling Stones

The Who (sorry for the terrible quality)

Adam Sandler

Two of life’s greatest treasures, Beastie Boys and food trucks, have come together to help out those who suffered from one of the sh*ttiest things that’s happened to New York in decades: Hurricane Sandy. Much of the city is still a mess from the disastrous storm, particularly in Brooklyn. But Mike D has been helping out victims of the storm…by handing out “hearty and warm” free food.

[Mike D] has served more than 19,000 hot meals free of charge to victims of Hurricane Sandy. Mike D and restaurant Robert McKinley’s Rockaway Plate Lunch food truck, in partnership with some of the city’s top chefs, has been keeping those who lost power or their homes nutritiously fed.

Mike D recalled heading out to Brooklyn’s Rockaway Beach neighborhood with McKinley shortly after it was devastated by Sandy. “We saw right away all these people living without any power, without any businesses being open, and therefore, no food,” he’s quoted as saying. “We saw the immediate need for warm food, but we didn’t have time to put together a long-term cohesive plan, we just had to react quickly.” (Via)

This begs the question, what would a Beastie Boys-themed food truck be called? I’ll start: Licensed to Grill.

(Via Spin)

In case you were unaware, Robert Downey Jr. is pretty much the coolest guy on the face of the planet. At some point between Iron Man and now, he apparently just assumed the identity of Tony Stark and ran with it. Or maybe Tony Stark assumed RDJ’s identity. I’m not really sure, to be honest. But the point is that Downey is pretty f*cking cool. So cool, in fact, that when Iron Man 3 was being screened on Monday for teenagers who volunteered for relief in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, he showed up unannounced to watch with them.

Hey, why can’t I stop hugging my monitor?

He told the crowd, “I just want to say thank you to the… Police Athletic League and all of you folks. I know you’re all here because you’ve been doing something special in the five boroughs, for this great city.

“You’re the future of the nation. I guarantee if you keep doing the right thing, you’re going to be running the joint in a minute.” (Via Contact Music)

And here I was all worried that America would be traded to the Chinese for a list of bad porn site passwords when today’s kids grow up and take over. Hold on… *spends 5 minutes searching random Tumblr sites* Yeah, we’re still doomed.

But at least we have Robert Downey Jr. until then. *total bro swoon*

(GIF via)

Dear Sandy, f*ck you. Love, Bruce Springsteen. According to the Hollywood Reporter:

Several days after Hurricane Sandy ripped through the East Coast, destroying homes and leaving millions without power, NBCUniversal has announced its networks including NBC, Bravo, and USA will air a one-hour, Matt Lauer-hosted telethon to benefit victims.

Hurricane Sandy: Coming Together will air Friday from 8 to 9 p.m, also on E!, CNBC, MSNBC, Style, Syfy, and G4. Other networks might join ahead of the special, which will be broadcast live from NBC’s 30 Rock studios in New York [beware of Stone Mountain-bound eagles] and live-streamed on NBC.com.

Bruce Springsteen, Christina Aguilera, Billy Joel, Sting, and Jon Bon Jovi are slated to perform. NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams and late night host Jimmy Fallon will also appear. (Via)

Jon Hamm is to SNL as Bruce Springsteen is to benefit concerts: he’s always around, and it’s never not a treat to see him. It begs the question, “Is it really a tragedy if the Boss doesn’t try to raise funds for its victims?” Another, more important question, however, is: what should Bruce and Billy play on Friday? Some suggestions below.

“Growin’ Up”

As inspirational and outright optimistic sounding as Springsteen songs get.

“Waitin’ on a Sunny Day”

9/11 songs work as Hurricane Sandy songs, too.

“The Ties That Bind”

About the perils of rejecting help from people, and why we need to come together.

“I’ve Loved These Days”

Who gives a crap if your TV was lost during the hurricane? Material possessions don’t matter, etc.

“4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)”

Obviously. And what not to play:

“Lost in the Flood”

*Loosens collar*

(Via The Hollywood Reporter)

In one of the college bars in the college town where I attended college (college!) some charmer over a decade ago drunkenly scribbled “I f–ked your mom last night” above one of the urinals. Shortly after a much wittier gentleman with far better handwriting replied, “Go home dad, you’re drunk.” I was 18 or 19 the first time I saw it and at the time thought it was the pinnacle of humor. I’ve enjoyed a good chuckle every time I used the restroom in said establishment ever since.

I’m not sure if that says more about college me or me me but either way I’ve maintained a fondness for the joke over the years and enjoyed every meme-y variation I’ve seen on the internet since, so when a few new ones began to spring up this week in response to Sandy devastation (quite the awesome coping mechanism, I might add) I enjoyed them a little too much.

So here’s an assorted collection of Sandy and non-Sandy related “Go home, you’re drunk” memes for everyone’s end of week enjoyment. Because we’ve all been a boat on railroad tracks before.

Source: Know Your Meme

With Hurricane Sandy having done more considerable damage along the east coast, the rebuilding process will be a long road. Today, the financial aspects of recovery received a boost as the NBA and the Players Association have pledged $1 million to be shared across several charities. The commitment will be spread to several beneficiaries that include the Red Cross, The Salvation Army, New York Cares and Jersey Cares.

“Many homes and lives were devastated by Hurricane Sandy and our thoughts, abiding concerns and hopes are with all those affected,” said NBA Commissioner David Stern. “The NBA, the NBPA, our teams, and players are partnering with the Red Cross and other humanitarian organizations to support the relief efforts to help families and communities recover.

“The immeasurable damage and heartbreaking impact of this latest natural disaster continues to shock all of us,” said NBPA Executive Director Billy Hunter. “The NBPA and its members will assist ongoing relief efforts by partnering with the Salvation Army along with other organizations as part of a long term commitment to help those in need.”

H/T: SLAM

How Does High Speed Internet Actually Work? [Mashable]

The 25 Coolest Moments In Barack Obama’s First Term [HHW]

Obama Cardboard Cutouts Embraced [Huff Post]

Lady Gaga Donates $1 Million to NYC Sandy Relief [THR]

How To Make Your TV Smart Without Buying A New Set [Stuff]

Rapper Jonathon Marcou Lives Out of His Car. No, Literally [LA Weekly]

Gucci Mane Challenges Rappers To Boxing Match [Crunk & Disorderly]

The Season’s 5 Best Bomber Jackets [GQ]

Pron Industry’s Calling Out To Miley Cyrus [Peeperz]

A Look at The Original “Gerber Baby” 85 Years Later [Complex]

James Harden Is Having No Problem Adapting To A Max Contract Lifestyle [With Leather]

Leave Items In Your Online Shopping Cart, Get Random Coupons from Retailers [Lifehacker]

Anthony Bourdain Goes On A Dead-Hooker Twitter Tirade [Warming Glow]

Peyton Manning: Smart Businessman, An Indirect Weed Profiteer [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Nine Year-Old Girl Dominates Boys Football League [Buzzfeed]

First off, to HELL with Hurricane Sandy, Nor’Easter Athena and everybody who love ‘em.

Seriously, as I enter a week straight with unmitigated power and heat, I’m feeling more grateful by the day. Being cold in the house as time slowed to a crawl wasn’t my idea of fun. At the same time I still had a roof over my head. People really lost everything and the horror stories in the storm’s aftermath ought to make you

Music, among other things, kept me tempered during two annoying, extended blackouts. GKMC got the most burn in the whip, at power stations with internet access or in the local Marriott when the residence got too frigid. However, Michael Kiwaunka’s Home Again made brief cameos during the two weeks in the dark. His buzz was small when I first wrote about him. Since then his star has quickly risen as a promising, young talent with an old soul thanks to crticial acclaim and a Mercury Prize nomination.

Folk/soul hybrids aren’t usually my bag but there’s something about Kiwanuka’s debut that resonates with me. Perhaps it’s the album’s simplicity in a era wrought with boisterous sounds built for stadium crowds than your ears. Home Again is as straightforward as it is well-made and “I’ll Get Along” stands as one of my favorites from the record. The song’s a period piece capturing the spirit of his debut: calming, introspective and class.

Honestly, “I’ll Get Along” gets me boppin’ like the cop in Chappelle’s music experiment. I can’t help it man. Just get me some Birkenstocks, khakis, a Ralph Lauren sweater/flannel combo and I’m straight. Press play and you might catch the same vibe as well.

Now Mother Nature, just keep that storm in the Atlantic and I won’t curse your name until winter starts, alright? OK.

AP Photo/John Shearer

I’ve been so tied up in my own little world this week, toiling away, working on this and that, closed up in the apartment for the most part (typical when you’re at your busiest in this line of work — and this has probably been the busiest week of the season for me), mainly aware of the horrors of Sandy via the news like most of you. Which is a trip. Out here, uptown, we’re fine. We’re lucky. Just a number of blocks this way or that, many people aren’t.

So I feel like I really need to take stock of that. Lots of friends, whether they be in New Jersey, upstate, Long Island, wherever, are still stuck in a bad spot. I haven’t had a chance to go downtown and take in the full effect of what’s gone on down there, and I should. I will. My heart sank a little when I saw the cover of this week’s New York Magazine. Then it was lifted again when I read the mag’s editors’ letter and all the resilience it reflected. And as resilient as New York is, it’s a city in need of a laugh right now, to say the least.

It was with great pleasure, then, that I read comedian Louis C.K.’s recent letter, which he says he tapped out on his phone in his dressing room at Studio 8H at 30 Rock where he’s gearing up to host “Saturday Night Live” tonight. A New York guy on a New York show at a time when New York could use a breather. It’s a great opportunity for an artist at the height of his game. Truly, I think there are fewer filmmakers performing, consistently, at Louis C.K.’s level these days, and this could be a highlight of his career.

But mainly, I was just touched by his perspective on the town that made him, that he loves. He writes:

“Last night we shot some pre-tape segments in Greenwich Village, which was pitch black dark for blocks and blocks, as it has been for a week now. It’s pretty impossible to describe walking through these city streets in total darkness. It can’t even be called a trip through time, because as long as new york has lived, its been lit. By electricity, gas lamps, candlelight, kerosene. But this was pitch black, street after street, corner round corner. And for me, the village being the very place that made me into a comedian and a man, to walk through the heart of it and feel like, in a way, it was dead. I can’t tell you how that felt. And you also had a palpable sense that inside each dark window was a family or a student or an artist or an old woman living alone, just being in the dark and waiting for the day to come back. Like we were all having one big sleep over, but not so much fun as that. This is how a lot of the city is still. I know people in Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island, New Jersey, all over, are not normal yet. And not normal is hard.”

So be sure to watch tonight at 11:30pm ET. It’s sure to be a delight.

And here’s to New York.

Click through to read the full Louis C.K. letter.

Hello. Its louis here. I’m clacking this to you on my phone in my dressing room here at studio 8H, right in 30 rockefeller center, in Manhattan, new york city, new york, america, world, current snapshot of all existence everywhere.

Tonight I’m hosting Saturday Night Live, something I zero ever in my life saw happening to me. And yet here it is completely most probably happening (I mean, ANYTHING could NOT happen. So we’ll see).

I’ve been working here all week with the cast, crew, producers and writers of SNL, and with Lorne Michaels. Such a great and talented group of people.

And here we are in the middle of New York City, which was just slammed by a hurricane, leaving behind so much trouble, so much difficulty and trauma, which everyone here is still dealing with every day.

Last night we shot some pre-tape segments in greenwich Village, which was pitch black dark for blocks and blocks, as it has been for a week now.

Its pretty impossible to describe walking through these city streets in total darkness. It can’t even be called a trip through time, because as long as new york has lived, its been lit. By electricity, gas lamps, candlelight, kerosene. But this was pitch black, street after street, corner round corner. And for me, the village being the very place that made me into a comedian and a man, to walk through the heart of it and feel like, in a way, it was dead. I can’t tell you how that felt. And you also had a palpable sense that inside each dark window was a family or a student or an artist or an old woman living alone, just being int he dark and waiting for the day to come back. Like we were all having one big sleep over, but not so much fun as that.

This is how a lot of the city is still. I know people in queens, brooklyn, Staten Island, new jersey, all over, are not normal yet. And not normal is hard.

And here at 30 rock, these folks are working so hard this week. There are kids in the studio every day, because members of the crew and staff had to bring them to work. Many people are sharing lodging. Everyone is tired. But there’s this feeling here that we’ve got to put on a great show. I’m sure it feels like that here every week. But wow. I feel really lucky to be sharing this time with these particular good folks here at SNL.

In about 5 hours we’ll be going on the air. I’ll do a monologue. And we’ll show you some sketches that we wrote and try to make you laugh. I’m gonna look really dumb in some of this stuff. But I don’t care. Its awfully worth it. And I’m really excited.

Anyway. I just wanted to let you know. If you watch the show tonight, when Don Pardo says my name and you see me walking out, all the shit in this email is what ill be thinking. I’m a pretty lucky guy. I hope you enjoy the show.

Thanks.

Louis C.K.

Live. From new york. Its saturday night.

Richie Sambora may be in one of the most successful rock and roll bands of all time, but the Bon Jovi guitarist says he”s just a geeky music fan like the rest of us, especially when it comes to being in the presence of some of his music heroes.

Such will be the case tomorrow night when Bon Jovi joins such acts as The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney and The Who for the 12-12-12 Concert to benefit Hurricane Sandy victims.

[More after the jump…]

 Eric Clapton, Alicia Keys, Roger Waters, Kanye West, Dave Grohl, Lady Gaga, Billy Joel, Pearl Jam”s Eddie Vedder and Coldplay”s Chris Martin are also on the bill.  Proceeds go to the Robin Hood Foundation, which will distribute the funds to relief efforts in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut. The concert, live from Madison Square Garden, will be beamed across the world, including airing on 34 television stations in the U.S.

“I”ll be living my childhood fantasy, playing on stage with the The Who, the Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton,” Sambora says via phone today, just before he catches his flight to New York from Los Angeles. “The man is running the show now, but there”s that little boy inside of you that”s screaming.”

He jokes that when Bon Jovi played the 9/11 Benefit, the band and the other veteran acts all hung out in a hallway they dubbed “Dinosaurs” Row.” And here many of them are again, 11 years later, donating their time and effort to another national tragedy.

His excitement in no way diminishes the horror he feels when he thinks about the devastation wrought on his native New Jersey and the surrounding states. Sandy literally hit home for Sambora: his mother”s house flooded up to the second story, the home that he bought for her 25 years ago after the band made it big. While the house undergoes repairs – Sambora notes that “it”s not as bad as some” – his mom has relocated to his Los Angeles home.

Sambora recently toured the decimated Seaside Heights, N.J. area with the American Red Cross. The Boardwalk there had been a mainstay of his entire life, from when his parents took him there as a little kid to renting a house there as a teen to coming up through the clubs. Bon Jovi even made a video for “In And Out Of Love”  on the Boardwalk in the mid-’80s. “I couldn”t even speak,” he says of walking through the destroyed Boardwalk. The roller coaster he used to ride was a tangled mess in the water, washed away like his childhood memories.

In addition to playing the 12-12-12 Concert, Sambora has re-recorded “I”ll Always Walk Beside You,” a song featured on his new solo album, “Aftermath of the Lowdown,” with Alicia Keys on piano.  All proceeds from sales of the download of the ballad go to the American Red Cross”s disaster relief efforts.

Even though he originally wrote the song for his teenage daughter Ava (with ex-wife Heather Locklear), the themes about support and loyalty work perfectly in its new incarnation. Plus, Keys” beautiful piano playing adds a new texture and emotion.

“I”ve had the knack of doing that during my career,” he says. “The knack to write songs that are about my stuff that turn out to be about everyone else”s stuff too. I wrote something where I was talking about my daughter, and it became about my state. You can take the boy out of New Jersey, but you can”t take the New Jersey out of the boy.” (Similarly, Bon Jovi”s biggest hit, “Livin” On A Prayer” took on an added dimension after 9/11).

Getting Keys to play on the new version was as simple as asking. The two are friends -Sambora has played at her Black Ball charity event- and Bon Jovi was recording its new album, out this Spring, at her studio. After she asked Sambora to play on her new album and a few days later asked if she could return the favor in some way. “I said, ‘I have this song I wrote for my kid and I think if you put your piano on it, it will make it that much more intimate”,” Sambora recalls.

He laughs that this is his life -part of the time. “The dichotomy of how I live is kind of crazy,” he says. “People call me a rock star. I don”t believe that bullsh**.” I”m taking my kid to school and picking up dog sh**. I haven”t changed that much since I was 7. The same morality that my parents indoctrinated in me, that hasn”t left.”

That sense of humility -and humanity- runs through “Aftermath of the Lowdown,” an intensely personal work that references the last decade of Sambora”s life, including rehab, divorce, losing his father, parenthood, and relationships.

“I have an amazing opportunity in Bon Jovi to write. The way we write for the masses is profound and simple. The message is concise,” says the member of the Songwriters Hall of Fame. “When I”m making a solo record, it”s a little more psychologically complex. I”m not really thinking about being simple or any of that stuff. Plus, I get to be a lead singer, which I actually quite miss in my life. I enjoy stepping out as a band leader. It”s such a joy for me.”

Tomorrow and then again in February, Sambora steps back full time in his role in Bon Jovi. The band”s worldwide stadium and arena tour, appropriately dubbed “Because We Can,” starts in Uncasville, Conn.,  before traveling throughout Canada, Europe, the Far East, Africa, Latin America, Australia and then returning to the U.S.

Close to 30 years in, it”s still not old hat for Sambora. “A part of my spirituality is the gratitude in that. I never take it for granted,” he says. “I still walk out there and go, ‘Again? You”ve come to see me?” I”m astounded at it by every turn. That”s how I maintain my innocence. I get to do what I do for a living in many different incarnations. I think that”s what keeps you around. Beyond the music, [fans] walk away having seen the gratitude and sincerity in my heart.”

Below is a snippet of “I”ll Always Walk Beside You.” To buy the download and help out the American Red Cross”s Sandy Relief Efforts, go here.

It took a storm for Michael Stipe to temporarily step out of R.E.M. retirement. The former frontman made a surprise appearance at the 12-12-12 Concert for Sandy Relief concert with Coldplay’s Chris Martin.

Martin first performed a solo “Viva La Vida” on acoustic guitar for the crowd at New York’s Madison Square Garden before welcoming Stipe to the stage. The pair then played “Losing My Religion,” a sweet sound to R.E.M. fans’ ears who have been suffering since the band called it quits last year. Stipe sang while Martin strummed his acoustic, dotting in some harmonies.

Martin finished his set alone again with “Us Against the World.”

Telethoners were surprised by the appearance, with anchor Brian Williams even admitting that some organizers didn’t know about the addition.

Other combos from the night were more readily apparent, like Eddie Vedder with Roger Waters and Bon Jovi with Bruce Springsteen. Paul McCartney performing with the living members of Nirvana was one of the worst-kept secrets earlier in the day.

Organizers hoped for an audience of 2 billion, and millions of dollars are expected to be raked in from the concert effort.

Meanwhile, Stipe was pulling double duty on 12/12, as he sang a Christmas tune “Good King Wenceslas” with Stephen Colbert and Mandy Patinkin on “The Colbert Report,” taped earlier in the evening. The R.E.M. singer has been occasionally sitting in on the show (so to speak) since the band busted-up, hardly saying a word when he made his cameos. Colbert was also a presenter at the Sandy benefit concert.

Check out Fuse’s interview with Stipe on his brief return below.

Grab your tissues. There”s no way you can get  watch students from Newtown, Conn”s Sandy Hook Elementary performing “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” without tearing up.

One month after the shooting that claimed 26 lives at the school, 21 current and former students from the school sang the “Wizard Of Oz” classic on “Good Morning America.” Singer/songwriter Ingrid Michaelson accompanied the children ukulele on an arrangement of the song made famous by Hawaiian artist Israel Kamakawiwo”ole.

[More after the jump…]

The students recorded a version at the Connecticut home of Talking Heads” Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth over the weekend. That version is on sale at iTunes and Amazon. Proceeds go to the United Way of Western Connecticut and Newtown Youth Academy.  We bet Justin Timberlake wouldn”t mind one bit if “Sandy Hook: Somewhere Over The Rainbow” feat. Ingrid Michaelson knocked his new single, “Suit & Tie” out of the top spot.
Hear it below and go here to download it on iTunes or on Amazon.
 
While the country continues to grieve over the losses  in Newtown, clean-up continues in many of the communities devastated by Hurricane Sandy, including the history oceanside New Jersey town of Sea Bright.

Train has recorded a studio version of John Lennon”s “Imagine,” which is now for sale, also at iTunes, with all proceeds going to Sea Bright Rising. The accompanied video shows the devastation wrought by the storm, but also shows that relief efforts are well underway  as rebuilding gets underway.

As you may know, Train performed a benefit concert in Sea Bright for residents and first responders in December after seeing a video of the storm”s damage filmed by Train fan/high school student Charlotte Nagy. VH1 broadcast the performance on Christmas Day.

Download “Imagine” here.